First you decide, then you become, for better or for worse. You have chosen to be exactly who you are. If you want to be different, you need to choose to be different.
We live in a world where we talk and act as though we are victims of our circumstances, be it our past, our parents, our spouse, our children, our personality type, our taste buds, our culinary skills, or lack thereof, our addictions, and our genetics.
There is so much we just cannot do, or attain, or deal with because of “who we are.” Take note of yourself, how often do you say you cannot do something because of who you define yourself to be? I bet you say “this is how I have always been,” or “this is just the way I am,” more often than you say “this is who I want to be” or “this is who I am becoming.”
As a Healthy Life Coach, these are the phrases I hear often concerning the notion of becoming healthier….
“I know I need to eat more vegetables to be healthier, but I hate vegetables, I always have, it’s just me.”
“I know I need to cook more to be healthy, but I don’t like cooking and I am not good at it.”
Or, the most common response to any unwanted habit or trait is…
“I have always been this way. This is just me.”
Excuses. Excuses. With very few words, you stop yourself dead in your tracks, you keep yourself from moving forward. You go backwards in time, to where you got stuck, to where you became the only obstacle to your own growth by deciding exactly who you were, and making that decision permanent.
Can you remember where, when or why you decided to make this who you are, for good?
You tell yourself and you tell others, over and over again, that you cannot change yourself because you have decided that you are unalterable. That your disdain for vegetables can never be overcome. That you cannot learn to cook or ever find enjoyment in creating delicious food for family, and friends. That you cannot change your lifestyle because you are too busy and overwhelmed. And when you choose to think of yourself like some sort of permanent fixture in the world, you literally paralyze yourself, and you become about as exciting and inspiring as a rock (think “set in stone”). You don’t feel alive and energetic because permanence lacks life and energy. While you stay committed to your excuses, and your fixed state of mind, you are rejecting the inspiration, ideas, dreams, potential, and possibilities that swirl around you.
“If you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right.”
You see human beings are not fixed or unchangeable, no living being is. We are so quick to jump to our excuses and justifications, and so slow to realize that every time we choose to define ourselves by who we have always been, we are choosing to live in the past, instead of choosing to create a new now, and a new future.
I hate to break it to you, but you can change anything about yourself, and your life. In fact, you are biologically and neurologically designed for constant, lifelong change. It is what keeps us healthy, fulfilled, curious, inspired, youthful, and empowered. Think about the wonder of a child, verses the stubbornness of an old man set in his ways. Which do YOU want to be?
You can choose between being more youthful and wonderstruck, in awe of the world where there is always so much to see and learn, or you can choose to stay stuck and fixed in your ways, which inevitably leads to lots of negativity, worry, and anxiety.
I tend to think that much negativity and struggle comes from human resistance to the natural process of our own growth and evolution. As a verb, evolution is defined “to develop gradually, especially from a simple to a more complex form.” A human being that evolves, is a human being that is changing, advancing, and progressing in their lives. Growth is life. Make no mistake, if we are not growing, we are dying. So it makes perfect sense that those that stay stuck feel lots of anxiety and worry as time, and life passes them by.
When you choose excuses and limiting beliefs day after day, you are willfully giving your power away. You are memorizing powerlessness, creating patterns of it within your mindset, and you are storing it as your go-to operating system.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. All operating systems can and should be updated when they start to slow us down. And it’s never too late to learn how to change our minds, and lives.
You are not what you think you are. You are, what you decided to believe about yourself, and day after day, you stay devoted to that limiting, inert version of you. Maybe for you its not the veggies or the cooking, maybe a little voice in your head tells you that you can’t start a business, run a marathon, go back to school, or fix your marriage. The only difference between you and someone who lives fearlessly, authentically and energetically, is a decision about what to believe. Because we humans naturally aim to affirm our beliefs, the problem is that too few of us intentionally choose beliefs that inspire us to become. As long as you insist that you “are who you are” you willfully deny your tremendous potential.
If you want to start a wondrous, inspiring journey to become. To learn how to override the old operating system, and how to intentionally cultivate a healthy, happy, and empowered life, please join The Healthy Life Club. We are not messing around, we are deciding who we want to be. The next group starts in September. Details can be found in this link https://www.cindycarbone.com/hlc/