‘How I Stopped Hating My Husband’ is the gift that keeps on giving! It’s a quick and easy read, an insightful and compelling story of the author’s personal and marital transformation, and a simple yet powerful prescription for anyone wanting to rediscover love for self and spouse.
I love how the author alternates between personal memoir and profound advice throughout, brilliantly intertwining honest emotional disclosure, insightful self-reflection, and the provision of realistic steps to take for real and lasting relational change.
This book is like handy little relationship tool box for restoring hope, recreating happiness, and rebuilding love. My favorite quote from the book? “How you feel is your quality of life.” Boom!
At 20 years of marriage, I found myself googling "how to fall back in love with your spouse". This came after a stint of irritating arguments, horrible communication and the blatant understanding that we were not acting like two people that wanted to be with the other person. Having two near-adult kids and full time jobs, we were growing distant, and I had reached indifference with regard to our marriage. So, I went self help googling! First, I came across a blog and writer who gave me every reason and excuse (and then some) to pack my bags, our 20+ years of history and memories and see a divorce attorney. From her perspective, if I had reached indifference, then that was my only option. But, that didn't feel right. I didn't want to get a divorce, and potentially disrupt the lives of our kid's, family's and friend's. I wanted to fix what was broken in our marriage. I wanted to get back to mutual respect, love and admiration for one another. I wanted to understand where was I self inflicting pain on him unknowingly, and where my years of baggage might be part of the issue. I wanted to stop thinking about me, me, me and be better positioned to think about him and his needs and feelings. That is when I ran across Cindy Carbone's blog. When I read her story of "How I Stopped Hating my Husband" on her blog I couldn't believe what I was reading. Her words of indifference, pain, the admission to no longer wanting to be in the marriage, and then reading how she and her husband worked through their issues to find themselves back in love was what I WANTED to hear! I wanted to believe that where I was, was not where I had to stay. This complete stranger was unknowingly telling my story and giving me hope. I've always said that we are one decision away from a totally different life. Cindy's story gave me hope to work on my marriage. I am so thankful to her and this book for that!
The author of this book, Cindy Carbone, is my dear friend. In full disclosure, I bought the book because of this fact, but I can give it a glowing review for a host of other reasons. I knew Cindy and Mario during the season she describes in the book. She writes truth. I also witnessed the transformation of their family, and the way she describes it in her book is like watching an old familiar movie with closed captioning on the screen. I wasn’t privy to all the intimate details at the time, but the transformation of her mind, heart, and attitude was fully visible to anyone who knew her.
Her title, How I Stopped Hating My Husband, could easily have also read, How I Stopped Hating My Job, or boss, or neighbor, or person with different political views. The process for changing your thought patterns and rumbling with root causes is generalizable to for more relationships than one.
I’m proud of Cindy for the hard work on her relationship and for the hard, scary work of publishing her story. I’m certain that the accessibility of her story (I read it in 3 hours, and it was like having wine on our back porch together) will have a big impact on readers.
To give hope that love is never lost, marriages can be saved, and people can and do change, if they want to.
HOW I STOPPED HATING MY HUSBAND
Let's talk honestly about resentment and hate in marriage. Let's talk about love, what we think it should feel like and what it really is. How do we know if our marriage is worth saving, and is it even possible to rekindle lost love? How do our own personalities contribute to our marital problems? How does blame lead to powerlessness? Can people really change? What if there is a betrayal? This new book contains the problems and solutions we need to openly discuss in order to free ourselves, and save our marriages. The best part is that this book can help ALL relationships.
Photo Credit: Tru Photography by Jaime Emfinger
Photo Credit: Tru Photography by Jaime Emfinger
Photo Credit: Victoria Dosch Photography
Cindy Butler Carbone is a certified health and lifestyle coach, writer, and teacher of all thing health-related through her digital learning tool the Mind/Body Reset Academy. She also hosts live coaching groups through the Healthy Life Club. Cindy specializes in emotional, physical, and environmental health, particular relationships and plant based eating. This is her debut book. Cindy resides in Texas with her husband, two sons and three dogs.